That darned grass

Always looks greener. Always! For the last few days hubby and I have been toying with the idea of selling our overpriced, yet lovely, home and buying a house for nearly cash in a less spendy market...at the same time, negotiating with his old employer for him to telecommute in his old job. As for me, I would go to be a stay-at-home mom. In one moment, this excites me, scares me and shocks me.

I think it could be amazing, but I never expected to be a SAHM, ever. I didn't think I would have a problem going to work while my buddy was at home. I actually thought it would be easy. I never thought about the feeling of sadness I would get each and everytime I leave them in the morning.

I also think it is scary. Selling our house, moving 1/2 way across the country, NOT working. Seriously, scary stuff. What if we hate the new place? What if we can't sell our house? What if not working stinks? What will we do when Boy is old enough for school? Hate that grass!

What would you do???

Brilliant post

I just think this blog post is lovely. Makes me think back over my LONG life. I am particlularly fond of the Dear 24 year old Lena...heartbreaking and true.

Knowing what the "small stuff" is

You always hear from other parents (especially those who have obviously not been parents since Reagan), not to sweat the small stuff. And it is indeed true, however, the hard part is identifying what to classify as small stuff. I think it is one of the most difficult things to do.

This challenge in and of itself has led to more meltdowns in my house. Schedules, nap times, what and when to feed him. It is hard to read their little clues and harder to determine when you are setting "bad habits". Recently, Boy's bedtime has changed. Mostly it changed because he is eating dinner with us now and we cannot eat at 6, so, he stays up until 8 now, which is awesome, however, it has made it hard sometimes to put him to bed, which leads to meltdowns (by me mostly).

See, being at work all day, my only job for Boy is putting him to sleep and when he is challenging to put to sleep, I feel like a failure because I was unable to do the only thing I get to do. It is worth noting, we still rock Boy to sleep. We never did cry it out and we are fine with it. The other night, I decided I would just let Boy play a little longer after rocking him for 30 minutes and he was OBVIOUSLY not ready for bed. We played an extra 30 minutes and he went to sleep like a little angel. So, for me determining that a rigid bedtime was just silly and thus "small stuff" I have stopped sweating it and it is a much more peaceful existence. One down, I am sure about a million to go...

Filed under TMI

I recently became convinced that we were going to have another baby. Despite hubby's surgery to prevent such things, I was convinced. When the test came back negative, I was happy, sad and relieved. With that one negative sign, I wasn't ever going to have to answer the question of "Mommy, why is my name Miracle Surprise?"

Time to stock the cellar

Spoke to the boss-lady. She has offered to remove all the things that I hate about my job, allow me to go 4 days a week, telecommute more and, if I wish, move to a city where I have more friends, for probably the same money. The catch - I have to stop looking for another job - should be a done deal this week. Fingers crossed, but I am very happy about this. No more managing the whiney bitches, no more administrative bullshit and MORE time for Boy!!! I am very lucky indeed!

Minding your beeswax

I had a really hard time breastfeeding and wanted to be able to do it more than anything. That being said, I am incredibly sensitive about not being able to do it. I burst into tears the first time I saw the government sponsored billboard (I love when my government goes above and beyond to make me feel bad!) that said "You are a bad person because you didn't breastfeed (or something like that).

And now, the state of NY has decided to ban formula from hospital exit bags. I tried and tried to breastfeed at the hospital until one of the nurses was nice enough to tell me that my baby is starving, he needs formula (which is coincidentally why the word "Starving" is banned). Either way, I really, really do not want to have formula legislated. It is hard to breastfeed. It is hard to learn for both people. It is best, I know that, but sometimes, people aren't able to breastfeed.

All this being said, don't we have bigger fish to fry in NY state or in our country in general? I mean, there are crumbling bridges, wars, children being abused and sold, poverty, hunger, you name it. Alas...

I have my house back

AND the wine cellar is finished. Lord, this is going to be one hard weekend. My boss is in town this week. I am hoping to be able to chat with her about the prospect of going part-time. My fingers are crossed. Even if I dont get to have that chat, I at least can go home and enjoy some peace and quiet in my home. Even with a sick Boy...poor Boy. He has been through so much. Ten extra eyeballs pinned on him, people kissing on him, picking him up, then we leave for a short vacay only to return to an ear infection. I think resting is on the agenda for this weekend!