Solving problems after 17 years

In case none of you have noticed, I am not very satisfied with my current situation. In fact, it is making me bananas. I am satisfactionally challenged, always have been probably always will be. But, now, my son is one year old and I was too stupid to embrace that first year and too bust to really enjoy it. This makes me madder than putting on a skirt that is too tight.

Hubby and I have been together for nearly 17 years. We have seen the very best, faced the biggest challenges, make critical decisions throughout our lives together. We have been through a lot and had fun with it at every turn. So, the time is upon us to determine our next move because the current situation is simply unacceptable. I do not enjoy my job, our city is chronically overpriced and we have pretty much no friends and our families are more than 2,000 miles away (YEAH for some, BOOO for others).

Like any good married couple, we took a bottle of wine, a pad of paper and a pen and mapped out what ideal looks like. Then, we mapped out how we are going to get there. I love when there is a plan. It makes me feel much calmer and more secure. It even cures most hangovers!

They've gone!

Holy Moses, my in-laws have gone. How do people become so self-absorbed with their own BS they are incapable of listening. Any ideas??

Love this guy

This is one of the best written blog posts I have ever read. He is so right, it is so true and honest. Thanks Dad Gone Mad!

Not a baby anymore

It dawned on me this morning, I don't have a baby anymore. He is a toddler. I can say with all honesty that babyhood was the most difficult endeavor I have ever embarked upon. And now that it is over, I am so sad that I didn't take the time to enjoy it more. I sure hope I do better in toddler-hood. I already miss my baby!

Turning one

Boy turned one recently and without a doubt, I love one! He is just such a sweet kid. He loves to play and rumpus. He loves people and I love him. He is going through a mommy thing right now that is sweet as all get out. Just when I needed it too! Off on a short (48-hour) vacation with hubby next week. One rocks!

Failing publicly

Having my in-laws here has made my life miserable. Their constant (unsolicited) advice, their judgments and their constant ego inflation feels like a daily reminder of what a failure I am as a mom. As a working mom, I have one job each day, put Boy to bed. Since they have been here, I have failed every night. Normally, I fail in private and succeed in the same way. If Boy gives me fits, I can let him cry a minute in his crib and then go try again. When I do this now, I get very disapproving looks and grins of pity.

Last night, after failing and having to hand over Boy so I could run to get birthday presents, I got to hear what an easy time they had and how easy it was with just giving him his blanky, as if I hadn't tried this for an hour...So, now, I am on my own and have to struggle through bedtime without walking away from the baby.

Because they are all staying here it feels like the walls are closing in on me and my failure. Then hubby, thinking he is being helpful comes to hover and pat my leg and eventually take over my job that I so obviously cannot do. He is, of course, successful while I hide in the corner of my bedroom, the only placed I can go. There is no way out of this nightmare...

Jenny, my best to your family and Harrison!!!

Know when to hold em...

Know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run...

So, I am sitting on a conference call with people who are wildly uneducated about the issues at hand when it hits me. I shouldn't work at a place where I am neither heard nor respected.

Just a thought for today.