Satisfactionally challenged

I remain incapable of being satisfied with who I am. I always want more, better. Oh, how I wish, I could just be satisfied with my place in the world, but no, striving inevitably happens. I have wonderful things, a great husband, a fabulous son and career, basically, I have it all. And for some reason, it is not enough.

What is driving this, you may ask? Well, there are a few things that are making me nuts. I used to run, a lot. Run like the wind, ok, not really, but I could run. For a LONG TIME. Like 5-7 miles, a long time. Two years ago, I ran a marathon. I can barely go two miles now. It is so disappointing. My fitness is a mess. I care about this because I want to be a good example for the boy.

I am overweight now and it is killing me. My clothes don't fit well and I need to look nice for myself, my hubby and my job! It is a miserable palce to be. The challenge is this: When I am home, I want to be with Boy, when I am at work, well, I have to work. I have run out of time to run. And for some reason, walking everyday is cheating. It is the pansy way to fitness. I want to reconcile this in some way because I would love to be able to walk my way back to fitness. But, each time, I try to go for a walk, I end up running a little and beating myself up because I can't run well. ARGH!

On a related note, I started a complete fitness and eating plan to get myself back in shape and feeling good. If I get to a certain, attainable goal, I get A NEW CAR!!!...can you tell I love The Price is Right??