Getting closer...

I know I blog every once in awhile, but today, I wanted to share a few things.

1. I am very likely to go public soon
2. Because I am about to become a stay at home mom!!! YEAH!

I think I have about another month or two of work and then, I will be able to teach my little sweetie all the things I hope to teach a little boy. I culd not be more excited. I plan to move the blog to another place and talk about women, moms, politics and hot issues, as I have some wild opinions! I will be sure to update this site when it is time to roll!

Feeling a little blue

Last night Boy had trouble sleeping. He had been doing SO WELL up until the last week or so. He has been waking early, EARLY in the morning and hubby typically takes him if I am going to work, which I think is really lovely. But this morning, after an amazing day to buy a potty yesterday, I realized I have missed the opportunity to teach him almost everything. I missed teaching him how to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, stack, most of the early joys. And even thought I got to see all of the firsts, I wasn't the teacher. And now, I won't be the one to teach him how to use the potty that he is so excited about. I am really missing out. I figured that I have maybe 6-12 more months working and then I am going to be the primary caregiver and get to teach, but what will be left? I mean, I am missing a lot and I am not sure why?

Timing is everthing

So, this article popped up on my radar screen today...Unfortunately, it is too long for me to get all the way through, plus, I fear if I do, I will quit tomorrow. I do love when I feel validated though!

Family vacation

Tomorrow we are taking Boy on a plane again. We are going to visit friends in the south we have not seen for years. These friends have shaped so much of our lives and I cannot wait for them to meet the child I never thougth I would have. When I was a much younger woman, I never wanted children. Didn't really see the point. Much of the time I spent with these people was in those years. These friends taught us all about good relationships and successful marriages. They taught us so very much. And now, here I am with a great marriage and a lovely child. There is something magical about sharing your child with people who are very dear to you. I cannot wait to see these wonderful friends.

Light burden

A friend of mine once told me a story about how it made her feel when she would leave her house for the day with her handbag, laptop bag, the Netflix return and her workout clothes while her husband walked out the door with his wallet. She reflected on this and was so angry that somehow her burden for the day was so heavy and her husband's so light. They talked about this and how it made her feel that she was carrying a greater burden for the family in this symbolic way.

Lately, my load has heavy, but I have been working hard to lighten it. Moving to a colder climate makes a heavier burden, coat, hat, gloves, purse, briefcase, gym clothes, Netflix, faxes, etc. I am working on this. I have started to leave the briefcase at work and only take the workout clothes when I know I need to. And then today it was unseaonably warm. No coat, no hat, no gloves, no briefcase, no Netflix, no faxes, just a purse. I cannot tell you how good it felt to leave the house with just a purse and head to work. I felt light and happy. I wish every day was like this morning! Amen to a springlike winter day!

Grandparents are awesome

Since we have moved back to the Midwest, my parents have visited a lot and we are so grateful for the time. Boy loves them and they love him. They are so sweet and give us time to be a couple again which is so lovely. Most of all, I love that Boy is going to know them REALLY well. He trusts them, loves them and plays with them. It is one of the greatest gifts I have been able to give me son. Way to go mom and dad.

Being a working mom can be so sad

I am incredibly fortunate to have a great job that affords us a nice life. And because we can do this, one of Boy's parents can stay home with him. Problem is, sometimes, it isn't his mommy.

Boy loves us both very much, but because Hubby is the one who is his primary caretaker, he is beginning to get most comfort when he needs it frmo daddy. Which, I am sure you can imaging is heartbreaking. My heart breaks when he falls and runs to daddy not mommy and in the morning when I greet him and he looks for his daddy. I know what dads have felt for years. I am feeling sometimes like I am not close enough with Boy. It is really difficult.

Luckily I am no workaholic and get home each day before 5:30. But, that doesn't change the fact that sometimes, I am his mommy in name only. One of the many things about being a working mom that you just never think about when you make those choices.