En Vacance

The whole family is taking off on a MUCH needed vacation tomorrow. That means many things:

First, I will not be blogging for the next week. My compulsive personality prevents me from taking a laptop because, frankly, I just cannot be trusted to not work. I hope while I am gone you will remember me when I come back and feel free to suggest some topics. I adore the comments and would like to have more interaction with the three or four people who read ;-)

Second, our family is going to take this time to really revisit our work/life strategy. I am over-worked and feeling very stressed about the landscape of work. I am secure in my job, just not enjoying it. The bad thing is I have a great gig, just sick of it right now. I am going to spend some time on vacation talking with my partner to find some answers to better balance my job, change my role or get out altogether.

Third, MORE TIME WITH MY BOYS. Upon my return, I am sure I will have countless tales of hilarity waiting to blog about.

Finally, I will be completely recharged. This vacation is taylored to give me and my family ample time to walk, talk, run and play. And my husband and I time to "reconnect".

Did I mention I needed this vacation and I cannot WAIT...Come to think of it, I am shutting this down and going to enjoy a beer on the porch with the hubby.

Happy Memorial Day!

I'm back!

There is nothing greater than seeing your child after you have been gone. They get so excited, almost as excited as I got. He looks happy, healthy and just so sweet, sweeter, in fact, than before. Oh, how I missed my boy!

Business trips

I have never been one to like business travel, I was a road warrior for a few years. I have only been on two trips since the baby has been born. Tomorrow, I go, again. Man, I do hate it. I think about all I will miss while I am gone. I will miss one bath, two rocking to sleep, countless smiles, giggles, crawls and wiggles. I will miss two greetings coming home from work and several feedings. It is such a bummer. It is moments like these when I wonder over and over if it is worth it. There have been many moments of thinking about the worth of my work. I am currently considering having hubby go work for a year and then we alternate, makes it a little scary, but it is for sure a good consideration.

Until then...Ugh...air travel...EARLY! Here's hoping it is free upgrade day!

Being satisfied with what you are

I have been a mom now for about ten months and in this time, I have come across a number of different kinds of moms. I categorize them in the following ways:

A. The giddy mom
B. The worried mom
C. The competitive mom
D. The thoughtful mom

All of them have their own way of managing group dynamics. What makes me sad if how all of them wish they were more like the others. Me, I think I am the thoughtful mom with a hefty dose of worried. I learned that the stay-at-home moms I know wish they were more like me. A few of them are total giddy moms. The ones who can only talk about little Jimmy's belly button and toes, etc. They are so excited about EVERYTHING. I wish I could be more like them. But at the center of it, I suppose I should be really happy with the mom that I am and not spend so much brain power trying to measure up to something that is elusive at best.

Top 10 things I loved before baby...

That I am not so loving now

10. Flat shoes
9. My career
8. Staying up late
7. My old jeans
6. Cosmopolitans
5. Running
4. Wasting time
3. Reading
2. My boobs
1. Sleeping on my back

Playing hookie

Lately my job has been an ego-crushing exercise in futility, so, today, I am playing hookie! YEAH! I remember as a kid playing hookie with my mom and dad every year. We would always go to the movies and out to lunch, it was the best.

Today, I just wanted to spend time with my men and play. I knew it would cheer me up and lighten my day. I was right. I am burning out from work and my little sparkler will help light me back up in the push before our annual vacation. I am sure this will not be a good example for boy when he is older, but maybe it will be. Showing him that sometimes you need to recharge and get some grounding.

And, this little time off and thorough annoyance with work has made me a better mom. Boy and I are connecting more than ever before. I love playing with him even when he is being a whiney little tired baby. Makes me wonder if I should stay at home for a few months. I may have to look into this idea. It is really making my rethink my approach to paying the bills ;-)

Be well and if you can, play hookie!

What the H*ll?!!?

I have often wondered what little kids get at Starbucks. I had always hoped it was cocoa, juice, smoothies, etc. Hope, indeed. In talking to a neighbor recently, he indicated that their TWO YEAR OLD LOVES COFFEE!!!

Sweet Jesus, are these people crazy!?!?

I feel bad giving boy Jamba Juice because of the sugar, but caffiene is a DRUG!! How is this not completely negligent. And yes, for those of you scoring at home, I am TOTALLY judging my neighbor.

Babies should not have caffiene!

Happy Mother's Day

Had a great day with Boy and hubby. Picnic and hike in the woods really grounded me with all the is going on. Boy is just tremendous. I have to admit, being a working mom makes me feel like I do not deserve a day to celebrate me because I am not his primary care taker. I told hubby this and he vehemently disagreed. He helped me realize that Mother's Day is to celebrate the fact that a woman can love to great depths and give of herself completely to two or more people. What a lovely thought!

Options are even different now...

I love opportunities and options. Just simply love them and if you read often, you know my current employ is driving me a little bananas. To sum it up, I am asked to absorb more than my fair share of pressure due to other people's failings and I find that unacceptable. So, I did what any person in my shoes would do, I updated my resume and shared with a few trusted allies that I am passively looking. Lo and behold, nibbles are coming in. One in particular has me intrigued. But alas, my new role as mom has put a completely different spin on the option.

This particular option would require me to relocate. Fundamentally, I am not adverse to relocating. I have not been in one place for more than 5 years since graduating from college. No, this relocation would be overseas! A dream of mine and my husband's for many, many years. One in which we gave up on since boy.

Now this great opportunity is in my court. Never would I have thought twice about moving overseas, but it isn't simply about me and hubby anymore, it is bigger than that, there are grandparents and aunts and friends to consider. There is boy himself, who I am sure would not mind at all, but the other people who care for him would sincerely mind. Although, his grandparents already live a pretty good flight away, but, it is not crossing an ocean. One set of grand'rents want to move to where we are, I wonder how that would work moving overseas. So much more to consider now!

When people say your life and priorities change when you have a baby, I always thought it was because of the baby, now I realize it is because all of the joy that the baby brings to so many other people is yet another way things change. Didn't see this one coming.

Stay tuned.

Leaving baby - 1st time away

So, hubby and I left baby recently for some time away. So many of our friends prepared us to be upset and concerned and worried, oddly enough, we weren't...AT ALL. Now, this obviously should make me feel like a bad mom, but I didn't. Of course we missed him, but we didn't worry or feel bad at all.

What was awesome, was how he adjusted to a new person caring for him. I think we are really lucky. Our best friend came out and they were as happy as two peas in a pod. He did better for her than he does for us - that's what made me feel like a bad mom!!!

Needless to say, we intend to get away again. The trip was a short 36 hours. We will probably make it 48 next time. And it was GREAT. We completely misbehaved, acted like irresponsible kids, got way too drunk and had a TON of fun. Cannot wait til someone else comes to visit!

Imagining the future

I saw a little girl today who could not have been 10 years old with a cell phone. I freaked out and started imagining what boy will want when he is 10. I can hear him now whining "But, mom, Jimmy has a cell phone chip in his head!!" And then I nearly crashed the car!

Satisfactionally challenged

I remain incapable of being satisfied with who I am. I always want more, better. Oh, how I wish, I could just be satisfied with my place in the world, but no, striving inevitably happens. I have wonderful things, a great husband, a fabulous son and career, basically, I have it all. And for some reason, it is not enough.

What is driving this, you may ask? Well, there are a few things that are making me nuts. I used to run, a lot. Run like the wind, ok, not really, but I could run. For a LONG TIME. Like 5-7 miles, a long time. Two years ago, I ran a marathon. I can barely go two miles now. It is so disappointing. My fitness is a mess. I care about this because I want to be a good example for the boy.

I am overweight now and it is killing me. My clothes don't fit well and I need to look nice for myself, my hubby and my job! It is a miserable palce to be. The challenge is this: When I am home, I want to be with Boy, when I am at work, well, I have to work. I have run out of time to run. And for some reason, walking everyday is cheating. It is the pansy way to fitness. I want to reconcile this in some way because I would love to be able to walk my way back to fitness. But, each time, I try to go for a walk, I end up running a little and beating myself up because I can't run well. ARGH!

On a related note, I started a complete fitness and eating plan to get myself back in shape and feeling good. If I get to a certain, attainable goal, I get A NEW CAR!!!...can you tell I love The Price is Right??

Confessions of a Hipster Mom

This article cracks me up. What is the big deal exposing your kids to different things. Our boy dresses just like his dad, which is cool. We listen to kids music that is not "kids" music. Why do people care??

Hipster Tots

Support is the key to everything

I know for sure that the most successful, happy working moms have support from two areas, good support. Those areas are their spouse and their employer. Right now, my employer is trying to kill me! I am accounable for an office. This office has to make money. In order to make money, my clients have to be happy. To achieve this, I need the right people working with clients and they need the right people supporting what we promise.

My boss is fab, she is incredibly supportive. But, there are two areas of our company that are broken and they are beginning to break me. I have two open positions that have been open for nearly two months. That means I am doing two and a half jobs not counting my job as mom.

The other area that creates a lot of stress is keeping these clients happy, if they are unhappy, they leave. In normal circumstances, we have sales people who have a pipeline of new clients to replace ones who leave. It is a normal cycle. Well, we have no pipeline making it all the more stressful when clients are unhappy. Needless to say, I am an UNhappy working mom these days. Head below water, feverishly tresding water, but truthfully getting nowhere. Time to start making a new plan.

Any ideas???