Thursday, June 7, 2007

Learning to lighten up

Last night hubby went out and had a little fun with a friend. This is odd for us as we have no friends outside the marriage. This is due tot he fact that we have been known each other for nearly half of our lives. We have no problems being each other's best friend. That being said, we are learning that there is no consistent opportunities to go out together, so, we need to go out with others to get back to regular life.

SOOOO, all that said, hubby went out last night. Of course when he left, I was nearly giddy with excitement to lay on the couch and watch a really silly movie. One that he would just not enjoy. I settle in and POOF, boy is awake. OK, I think, this is a snuggly opportunity to go lay in our bed and watch sometime even more mind numbing - reality TV.

As I laid there, I was thinking, he should be learning to sleep in his own bed and not be lulled by me. So, I tried to put him to bed - well, that was a HUGE mistake. The happy baby from our bed turned into a monster baby - wailing and crying and screaming. It was so frustrating. All because I wanted him to fall asleep in his bed. Power struggle erupts and I end up in tears gathering my composure outside.

I go back in, try to get him back in his bed, then I realize, what's the point?!?! I am forcing this false "should" on a small child. Who cares?!?! He is going through some separation anxiety and so what if he cannot fall asleep in his own bed now. I worry about spoiling him, but seriously, how can this be spoiling him. Nobody ever said my parents loved me too much or tried to make me too happy. Especially around falling asleep. It is just silly.

Lesson for the day - lighten up. Boy will not develop horrendous sleep patterns or attachment issues by comforting him to sleep, quite the opposite I bet! I am amazed how much I learn about myself in this process. I guess I am pretty rigid. I always thought I was laid back. Not so much, huh?


chlorinejenny said...

I just was surfing around and pressing the "Next" button when I found your blog.
My son is 2.5 and he just started being happy sleeping in his own bed! From the first day we brought him home he would only sleep with me.-or more like- I could only sleep if I let him in my bed! Good luck!

Working Mom said...

Oye!! Well, it is better to know that I am not alone than to be terrified of having another year and change of this...When did you ust give into it? I bet life looks a lot different for you now. Thanks for posting and I hope you visit again. Love your comment!

chlorinejenny said...

When I realized that my BB parenting theories were assinine, I just gave in to the sleeping together! I figured he would eventually go to his own bed, and yep, he has! It's the same with the potty training thing. He is just doing it himself- at his pace. I figure there aren't that many 6 year olds still in diapers, so we'll do it his way. Its working too! I don't panic because my littleman didn't eat any vegies that day any more either. Parenting is much funner now!

Do you mind if I blogroll you?

Working Mom said...

That is sage advice! I need to let go of a lot of BB theories, like clothes size, sleeping, exercise schedule, giving a rats ass about work ;-)

Thanks a lot for that, it is so nice to remember that they will grow up in spite of us.

I would love to be blogrolled!

chlorinejenny said...

Sage advice from a 30 year old mother of a 2 year old! Funny!